Losing It
im living in a nitemare now...n i just cant wake up...things r at rock bottom now...im devastated...stressed...barely hanging on... =(
no matter how i mug...my memory just fails me...
no matter how i train...i just cant shoot well...
sometimes i wonder...i shd just drop out of sch...i cant seem 2 study now anw...everything seems so foreign 2 me the more i look at it...everything dun make sense...its so damn frustrating n demoralising...the last time i felt so clueless during class was when i had my jap lessons...n im the only guy in cls...sitting alone...remaining silent each time im called to ans a qn...tts wat happened during econs...tt sense of helplessness came back 2 me...n it sux...i dunno whether i can study anymore...i seriously doubt so...haiz...
im getting easily irritated oso i think...more moody...more agitated...
like how i now hate the gayness of some ppl even though its only 4 fun...it just sickens me now...thus 4 my strong reactions nowadays...
like how i question ppl's actions n their motives nowadays...i mean if i say i shot lousy n dun feel like showing u my cards can u pls stop asking me 4 it?...i noe u shot well n u r more zai n i feel happy 4 u...really...but i rly cant be compared 2 u so dun make me feel worse...just trust me when i say i shot badly...u have my word 4 it so u dun have 2 ask 4 my cards...haiz nvm...
like how i feel wronged n have 2 defend myself now...unlike the past when i just let the matter go...hey im not the one tt kicked the ball against u so can u dun put all the blame entirely on me?...u make it sound like i purposely instigated him 2 kick the ball at u...n u didnt even hit/scold the culprit but instead took it out on me?...tsk wth...
aargh nvm me...forgive me 4 my outburst...im rly rly stressed up...cos nth's gg rite 4 me...sry 2 all the ppl im referring 2 above...u noe who u r...im sry...yah...this is not the eugene u all noe...cos im having a crisis now...hopefully the old eugene will be back soon...wish me luck...haiz...
sry 4 gg hm early 2day too...i figured i need some time alone...hope u understand...
bring me back 2 life...
Devet10's heart was taken at 8:18 PM